


Start Me Up

by prettiestsailor



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Because what is modern AU Hypnos without weed?, Charon vapes lol, Gym AU, Gym owner Charon, Multi, Personal trainer Hermes, Recreational Drug Use, Sibling Bonding, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettiestsailor/pseuds/prettiestsailor
Summary: Hermes is a personal trainer looking for more work. Charon is a mysterious gym owner. They find that they have more in common than a penchant for lunch breaks in the smoking area.
Relationships: Artemis/Eurydice (Hades Video Game), Background Theseus/Asterius, Charon/Hermes (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

Hermes bounced his leg while he waited outside the office. He had got there ten minutes early, and knew that he had no justifiable reason to be impatient, but that didn’t stop the frustration from seeping in.

From her desk, the receptionist clearly noticed.

“Don’t worry, Mr Kyllenios! He’ll be with you real soon,” she said, her chirping voice wavering a little. Her dyed green hair was tied into a bun which was losing its fight against gravity. _Dusa_ , her name tag had read.

“Hermes Kyllenios?” a voice called from the office. A young man with curly hair and doe eyes poked his head out.

“That’s me!”

“Well, thanks for waiting. Come through, when you’re ready.”

Hermes shot up to his feet and followed the man through the door, where he was led to a chair. He sat down once again, facing the man who’d led him in.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Hypnos,” the man said, extending a hand, which Hermes reached out and shook, “I do the accounts here. My brother Thanatos was going to be here, but he got a little caught up—sorry about that! So, you saw our ad?”

“Yes, that’s right!”

“Cool. So let’s chat, then! Why do you want to work for Styx Fitness?”

The interview was fairly laid back—Hermes got the impression that this Hypnos was just a laid-back person by nature. But then, he supposed the role wasn’t anything overly formal to begin with. The gym was looking for another personal trainer to add to its roster on something of a freelance basis, and Hermes was not one to say no to more work.

He and Hypnos got on like a house on fire, which boded well. They seemed to be equally easygoing, and what started out as a job interview ended up feeling more like a chat with an old friend. By the end of it, Hermes was so comfortable that he hardly remembered that he was there looking for work, and was a little surprised when Hypnos reached out for another handshake.

“We’ll be in touch in the next couple of days. It’s been nice talking to you!”

As he left out of the opposite, hands in his pockets, Hermes caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye: a towering figure, wearing a long black coat and a dark, brimmed hat.

 _Funny,_ Hermes thought, _he doesn’t exactly look at home in a gym_.

\--

That, as it turned out, was the gym’s owner, Charon. Hermes learned this from Dusa on his first day on the job, as she gave him a tour.

“Yeah, so, um, he hasn’t ever really spoken to any of us who work here? Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I mean, I guess he just keeps to himself. He talks to Hypnos and Thanatos, and they talk to us. That’s pretty much it with him.”

Hypnos was the accountant, of course, and Thanatos was the gym’s manager. The former was, it would seem from Dusa’s extremely polite account, something of a slacker, while the latter was the opposite: working himself basically to death for the sake of the gym.

“They’re all brothers, actually. Thanatos and Hypnos are twins, but I don’t see it myself, really! I mean, they don’t look that much alike. And they don’t really act alike either. Not that it makes a difference! It’s a family business for them. They all care a lot about the gym.”

“I see,” Hermes said. Dusa’s endless nervous chatter reminded him a little bit of himself.

“And then there are the other personal trainers! I guess you’ll get to know them soon, uh, because I think there are four of you now! Besides you, there’s Megaera and Alecto and Tisiphone. People call them the Furies, because they work people so hard. None of them has ever had a client who hasn’t cried at the end of the session. Not even Sisyphus!”

“Sisyphus?”

“Yeah, he’s one of our regulars. Look, he’s here now.” Dusa pointed subtly across the gym towards a broad man at the free weights. “He comes here basically every day, and you can see he’s really strong, but he hasn’t beaten his deadlift personal best since he got here. But he still keeps trying!”

“Huh, interesting,” Hermes said. He wondered what it would be like to work with a client like Sisyphus—and what it would take to bring someone so determined to tears.

“But don’t get the wrong idea about the Furies! They’re amazing at what they do. They work people hard, but they get great results, you know? I’ve even thought from time to time of training with Ms Meg. Um, but I don’t think I’d want to cry or anything!”

This interested Hermes. Personal trainers had a wide variety of approaches, which seemed to work for different people. Some, like these Furies, liked to motivate their clients with a “no pain, no gain” attitude. Some, like Hermes, on the other hand, were more interested in using a light touch, trying to get results through enthusiasm and positive reinforcement. Different strokes for different folks, as the saying went.

“And I can bring my own private clients here to train?” he asked.

“You sure can! In terms of work here, Thanatos was saying he’d get you a few consultations with clients over the next few weeks, um, if that works for you?”

“That sounds good to me. Thank you, Dusa!” Hermes shot her a smile.

“No problem at all! And if you need anything else, just let me know, okay? Um, alright then, I think that’s the tour pretty much done! You know where to find me!”

As Dusa scuttled away, Hermes looked around the gym. It was very modern: the kind of place that had a premium on membership fees for its sheer Instagrammability. With black floors and purple and gold walls, it was a far cry from the dingy inner-city gyms where Hermes had first started working as a personal trainer. If these first impressions were anything to go by, this working arrangement was shaping up to be a very promising one, indeed.

\--

His clients, as it turned out, quite liked Styx Fitness, too. Hermes had settled in well in his first couple of weeks in this arrangement, and was already beginning to feel like part of the furniture. Between sessions, where he pushed his clients to their fullest potential, he enjoyed relaxing in the break room with Hypnos, going over schedules with Thanatos, catching up with Dusa, or even offloading his thoughts on Skelly, the gym’s cleaner.

There was just one person he hadn’t gotten to know.

It was a hot day, and the break room was particularly stuffy—and besides, nobody else was there—so Hermes decided to take his coffee and go sit outside in the staff smoking area.

He wasn’t expecting to see Charon there. He certainly wasn’t expecting to see him vaping.

“Well, fancy seeing you here, boss!” They were the first words Hermes had exchanged with the man. ‘Boss’ seemed like an odd term for him because, well, their arrangement was a bit more casual than that, but he wasn’t really sure what else to call him.

Charon turned around and regarded him with pale eyes. His skin, too, was pale, and from this close, Hermes could make out his sharp features—high cheekbones, thin cheeks, and an angular jaw. He remained silent.

“Funny to see a gym owner with a Juul, if I may be so bold,” Hermes said, unperturbed. “Thought you’d be the paragon of health! You’ve got an image to uphold, you know?”

Charon just turned back around. This was probably a decent outcome, all things considered. There were employers who would probably class this as impertinence and fire Hermes on the spot. Hermes was, for better or for worse, not someone who worried about things like that.

He drained his coffee and got back to work.

\--

Something drew him out to the smoking area time and time after that. Well, calling it ‘something’ would be disingenuous. When Hermes happened upon a tough nut, every bone in his body told him to crack it, and Charon was no exception. And so he took to spending his breaks out on that little concrete balcony, throwing out one-sided conversation.

He’d tried a host of things.

“That Sisyphus is still working on his deadlifts. Weird how he never gives up. Seems he’s probably reached his peak, really.”

“Saw Alecto give some chap a hard time on the treadmill today, boss. Looked like he could barely stand by the end of it. You should have seen! She’s a live one, eh?”

“Weather’s pretty miserable. Good thing you’ve got that vape thing going on. I don’t think a cigarette could stay alight with the rain we’ve been having.”

The most he got was a glance. He usually got nothing. That didn’t stop him from trying.

\--

One of Hermes’s particular unique selling points as a trainer was his adeptness at languages. He worked with clients not only in English, but also through Spanish and Mandarin and Greek if the situation demanded it. He also worked with deaf clients in ASL, a skill which he’d picked up years ago which had come in handy throughout his career.

Chelone, one of his long-term clients, had made the move to Styx Fitness with him. As she worked with one of the kettle-bells, Hermes signed to her.

“ _Keep going! You’re making such good progress_.”

It was something he had a lot of experience with, and if it could help him work with a wider range of people, it was all the better.

After Chelone’s session, it was time for a break. Hermes made his way to the break room, grabbed himself a coffee, and went straight through to the smoking area where, as he expected, Charon was standing. What he didn’t expect was that Charon would turn around and face him.

“ _I didn’t know you knew ASL_ ,” he signed. So he’d seen him signing with Chelone.

“Oh! Yeah. I do. Didn’t know you did either, boss,” Hermes said.

“ _You never asked_ ,” Charon signed. His expression suggested something like amusement. And so Hermes discovered that Charon was not only willing to talk to him, but actually didn’t mind joking with him, either.

“Bad habit of mine. Sorry about that. Tend to go on about myself, I’ve been told.”

“ _I’ve noticed._ ” Another joke. But then that was it. Charon turned away once again and went back to his absurd vaping.

Oh, well. This was absolutely progress on the nut-cracking front.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermes hangs out with his sister, Artemis, and continues to get more involved in life at the gym.

Hermes’s sister Artemis arranged to meet him in a vegan cafe that had just opened in town. As someone who took her schedule seriously and planned her downtime precisely, Hermes was not going to turn down her invitation—after all, who knew when she’d make time for him again?

Sliding into a pair of pristine white sneakers, he stuck the name of the cafe on Google Maps and looked up the directions: a 20 minute walk, which, for Hermes, meant a 12 minute walk at most. He hopped down the stairwell of his apartment building and made his way there.

Of course, even with his mental walking directions accounting for what he dubbed ‘Hermes Time’, he still managed to arrive early. He stood outside the cafe, tapping his foot and idly scrolling on his phone when, after a few minutes, a voice spoke to him:

“Ugh, what is that t-shirt?”

Hermes looked down at his white t-shirt, which had ‘DADDY ISSUES’ emblazoned across the front in orange and yellow letters. Admittedly a bold choice for meeting with family.

“It’s called fashion, my good sister,” he said. “Nice to see you too, by the way!”

“I suppose you and I have different ideas of ‘fashion’,” Artemis deadpanned, pushing the door open and holding it for Hermes as they walked inside and joined the queue.

Hermes chose not to comment on her flannel shirt, black shorts and combat boots combo.

“I mean, it’s not exactly a million miles off as a statement. Not just a fashion statement, either,” he said.

“Come on, don’t be so harsh. Father just wants the best for us, in spite of his admittedly strange ways of showing it.” The conversation was briefly interrupted when the barista called them forward. Hermes ordered his usual triple espresso, and Artemis opted for black tea. When their drinks were made, they made themselves comfortable at a table by the window.

“So,” Hermes said, “circling back to Dad for a minute, I suppose in a sense he does want the best for us. If you look past, you know, all of his infidelity and short-temperedness and the fact that every single one of us needs several years’ worth of therapy.”

Artemis paused contemplatively as she sipped, then spoke, “Dionysus doesn’t need therapy.”

“Dionysus is the president of a fraternity. I think I’d take therapy over that, thanks.”

Artemis chuckled a little, and Hermes was delighted to draw such a reaction from his usually stoical sister.

“Besides, have you even told Dad yet that you’re a raging lesbian?”

“Shut up, Hermes,” Artemis said, too quickly, then added more softly, “I’m getting around to it.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it? God knows Dad’s had his share of lovers of various genders, but I still don’t think he’s over the fact that I won’t be bagging him a daughter-in-law any time soon. Or, you know, ever, really,” Hermes said, tracing his finger around the perimeter of his now-empty mug.

“I think he’s probably more bothered by the fact that you’re a twink who wears ‘daddy issues’ t-shirts.”

“Please, Artemis, I will gladly give you the ASOS link for the t-shirt, since you clearly love it so much.”

“Anyway,” Artemis said, rolling her eyes, “how’s work?”

“It’s good,” Hermes said, “recently started a contract at a new gym, on top of my freelance stuff. Gives my weeks a bit more structure, and also gives me more money, so, win-win really. And one of my coworkers also has green hair. It's like working with a mini Artemis, except she’s actually very sweet. And how about you?”

Artemis ignored the teasing. “It’s okay. Things have been busy, so I haven’t had much time to get out and practice my archery.” She frowned. Archery was one of her only real passions in life.

Hermes looked over at her, thinking about how ridiculous it was that she was still working an office job when it clearly brought her so little joy.

“You’re giving me the look, Hermes. Stop giving me the look.”

“Hm? What look?”

“The ‘Artemis, it’s really simple, just quit your job and start an archery school’ look,” Artemis said, making a half-hearted attempt at imitating her brother’s voice and mannerisms.

“I mean, I didn’t say anything! But, since you bring it up, it is a good idea. Why not do it? I’m sure Dad would give you the money for set-up costs. Just want to see my big sister doing something that’ll make her happy.”

“We’re not all dreamers like you, Hermes. How you’ve managed to make the languages-degree-to-personal-trainer thing work is beyond me. But whatever,” she grew slightly tense before she spoke again, “uh, how are your friends?” She paused and took a sip, hiding behind her mug like a shield. “How’s Eurydice?”

Hermes grinned. Artemis’s crush on his friend was hardly subtle, and far be it from him to dissuade her. After all, he thought, they would make a pretty good pair.

“She’s good! Her chefing is going well. Let me try some macarons she made a few weeks ago and they were pretty top notch. Yeah. Eurydice is good,” he said and, with a teasing wiggle of his eyebrows added, “and she’s single.”

“Ugh, remind me why I decided to go for coffee with you.” Artemis was blushing lightly. So he had hit the nail on the head, it would seem.

He continued speaking, unimpeded by her embarrassment. “You’ll remember her boyfriend from college. Orpheus. Musician guy, remember? Really acted the part of a sad indie boy. Things ended between them about six months ago. On her terms, of course. Not like he did anything horrible, just, I guess, made a few too many messes when it came to things.”

“He never was the brightest, was he?”

“Now, now, Artemis. Don’t let the green-eyed monster get the better of you.” Hermes smirked as he spoke.

“You’re intolerable. I am never hanging out with you again.”

“It’s been nice to see you too! But,” Hermes looked down at his watch, “I have to go to work in a little bit, so I’d better go get ready. See you soon!” He got up, left a few coins on the table as a tip, and gave Artemis a gentle punch on the shoulder.

“Don’t forget to change out of the t-shirt. Bye, Hermes.”

“I’m keeping it on just ‘cos you said that. Get in touch soon. I’ll have to arrange something between you and Eurydice. Would be cute. See you!”

As he skipped out of the cafe, he could see the red blush creeping across Artemis’s displeased face.

\--

Thanatos had organized a consultation for Hermes with a potential client—one of the gym’s regulars who was looking to work with a personal trainer.

Hermes soon learned that the consultation was with not one, but two of the regulars.

“You see,” said the client—well, one of them—a man with blond hair and bronze skin, who had the inverse-triangle physique of a seasoned bodybuilder, “it is imperative that my companion and I train together. There is a synergy between our workouts that we simply cannot forego.”

Hermes exchanged a glance with Thanatos, who stood by the sidelines, the faint scowl on his face as inscrutable as ever.

“That is pretty unconventional, but you are the boss, at the end of the day! But are you one-hundred-percent sure that this is how you want to do things? If we did one-on-one sessions, I’d be better able to help you with your specific needs.” Hermes quickly tensed and untensed his left calf as he spoke, trying to be delicate and euphemistic about this frankly bizarre setup.

The other man finally spoke up. “This is our preference.” It came out as more of a grunt than anything. If the first man was muscular, the second was absolutely ripped. He towered above his conversation partners, and his dark skin gleamed under the gym’s fluorescent lights.

“Well, alright!” Hermes said. He wasn’t going to turn down work, no matter how unorthodox it might be. “We can certainly work something out, in that case. You say you’re preparing for a powerlifting competition?”

The rest of the consultation proceeded calmly. They worked out a schedule for their sessions, building towards their national competition in a number of months. When that was all done, Thanatos hung back.

“Thank you for that,” he said, strained, like even thanking someone was too effusive for him.

“Ha, no need to thank me, boss!” Hermes replied. “Weird pair, aren’t they? But the weird ones are always the most fun to work with. They speak like something out of a Victorian novel, don’t they?”

“They… can be a bit much,” Thanatos said with a confessional tone. He had the admirable quality of not being a gossip, but Hermes suspected that there was more of a story there than he let on.

And so, Hermes made a point to seek out Dusa during a lull in his schedule and find out more. The shorter one, Theseus, had been a notorious playboy until he met the taller one, Asterius, and made the decision to devote almost all of his time to powerlifting. They were inseparable, both inside and outside of the gym, and Dusa and Megaera had their suspicions that their relationship was a little bit more than friendly.

Thank the gods for Dusa. This was enough to keep Hermes entertained all week.

\--

After the revelation that he understood ASL, Hermes always managed to get at least a sentence or two out of Charon, and looked forward to his breaks as a time to get to know the stony-faced owner. He mostly did this from afar, standing by the door while Charon leaned over the railings. One day, he was feeling particularly bold and strode over to stand beside them.

From this close, their height difference was comical. Even in thick-soled sneakers, Hermes was on the shorter side. Charon, on the other hand, was a beanpole. At a guess, he was probably around 6’5”. Hermes could imagine the toll it was going to take on his neck if he were to keep looking up at his acquaintance like this. He leaned up on his tiptoes.

“How’s it going today, boss?” he asked.

“ _Fine,_ ” Charon signed. He was a quiet person, Hermes gathered. If he didn't say much, it was just because he didn't have much to add.

“Got a new client today! Well, a pair of new clients, really. The powerlifters, do you know them? Or more like the power couple, from what I hear.”

Charon peered over at him, taking a drag of his Juul. From this proximity, Hermes could smell the vapor. It was fruity, like plums.

“Anyway, I’m going to be helping them train for some competition. Which doesn’t really feel all that necessary, you know? They seem ready enough already. The bigger one looks like he could bench a car. But hey, who am I to say no, right, boss?”

Charon remained still for a moment, as though he were taking in everything Hermes had said. That in itself was strange, and made Hermes feel a rush of warmth. He was used to his chatter being ignored, not contemplated.

Finally, after regarding him for a moment, and giving him just the briefest look up and down, Charon signed,

“ _I’m sure they can learn a lot from you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos on the first chapter!! Writing this AU has been so much fun, so I am really glad that other people like it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermes attends a company party and learns more about Charon's hobbies.

It was 5:30am—one of Hermes’s usual early starts. The gym would be opening soon, and some of his morning clients would be ready to get down to work. He still had a few moments to get ready and chat to his coworkers.

“Um, Hermes?” Dusa called over to him. He looked up. “Hi!” she continued, “good morning.”

“Morning, Dusa!” he said with a little wave, and walked over to her desk. She was looking at him with a glint of something in her eyes. “How are you doing today?”

“I’m just great, actually! I just, see, I wanted to show you something!” At that, she rolled up the sleeve of her black button-down shirt to reveal her arm, which she flexed, showing just a hint of bicep. “You know how I told you I wanted to train with Miss Meg? Well, guess what? I did! And she didn’t even make me cry!”

“Huh, glad to hear it!” Hermes said. “Tough routine? What kind of stuff does she have you doing?”

Dusa ran him through the regimen. It consisted of a couple of weekly sessions, alternating between HIIT and weights sessions. She spoke about it enthusiastically, and clearly seemed to be looking forward to the training ahead. Hermes was glad to hear it.

“Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you, on another note,” she said, “it’s actually the twins’ birthday this weekend and, um, we’re going to be throwing a little company party. I know you don’t work here full time, but Hypnos and Thanatos wanted to ask if you wanted to come?”

Hermes smiled. It was nice to be included in the Styx family.

“Sounds good! I should be free. What’s the plan?”

“We were thinking of just doing it here, actually? After closing on Friday maybe. So, you know if you’re not busy with anything else, you can just stick around and we’ll see you there?”

Hermes shot her a thumbs up and headed back over to the free weights, ready for his first appointment of the day.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

\--

It was a little bit surreal to see the gym converted into a party venue. Its austere interior had been transformed by Dusa, who had lined the walls with bright, multicolored ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ bunting. There were an excessive amount of balloons all over the floor, so many that Hermes found himself popping a couple by accident as he walked around, simply because he couldn’t watch out for all of them.

Thanatos and Hypnos were in the middle of the room together, looking comically different. Thanatos, arms folded over each other and expression serious, was in a smart black jacket with a purple shirt underneath, while Hypnos was leaning against a squat rack, wearing a red tie-dye sweater that was at least 3 sizes too big for him. Most of the staff of the gym were in a circle around them, except for Charon.

“Can you believe our big brother doesn’t love us?” Hypnos asked Thanatos teasingly.

“Hypnos, don’t be ridiculous.” Thanatos was stern in his reply. “Just because you feel you can turn this place into a party venue whenever it suits you, that doesn’t mean it’s not a place of work. He said he’ll be here at half past.”

“Relax, Than.” It was Megaera who spoke. She stood next to Thanatos and—Hermes had to note—a fair distance away from her sisters.

“Hm, whatever,” Hypnos said, “I’m going out to the balcony. This weed isn’t going to smoke itself. Coming with, Than?”

Thanatos groaned. “Are you serious, Hypnos? In the gym?”

Hypnos, unperturbed, turned to Hermes instead. “You wanna come? At least you’re more laid back than my brother here.”

Hermes saw no reason not to. He hadn’t smoked since college, but, well, he was coming to enjoy the weird things that happened at Styx Fitness. He followed Hypnos out onto the balcony, making small talk about his clients. They sat at the table, a circular, cast iron piece with matching chairs.

There was something amusing in how adeptly Hypnos rolled a joint, considering he usually looked like he was half-asleep. But then again, maybe there was a connection there.

“So, you’ve been settling in nicely. How are you finding things here?” Hypnos asked as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, lighting the joint and then taking a long, lazy drag from it.

“Very nice, indeed!” Hermes said. “You really do attract some interesting customers here, don’t you? How do you end up with such a high number of total _characters_?”

“Weird, right? A lot of them come from other parts of the family business—Mom owns these healthcare clinics, and I guess she just recommends a lot of her clients come here,” Hypnos explained, passing the joint to Hermes.

“ _Health_ care, huh?” Hermes said. As he inhaled, he felt warmth in his lungs, enjoying the sensation. Waves of relaxation washed over him, and he leaned back into his chair. “Interesting hustle you’ve all got going on here. Guess it will take me a while to figure out how it all fits together.”

“Tell me about it,” Hypnos said, amused.

And then Charon stepped out into the smoking area, dressed like he belonged on the front cover of a magazine. He was wearing a black button-down shirt, top button open to reveal a small gold chain around his neck, and suit trousers. His white hair hung around his shoulders in neat waves. His eyes shot over to the joint in Hermes’s hand.

“ _Thought you didn’t smoke_ ,” he signed, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“I mean,” Hermes said, “kinda different, isn’t it? When you think about it.”

“ _Is it really_?” As he signed, Charon crossed the balcony, taking a seat beside Hypnos and directly facing Hermes.

“Wait a minute,” Hypnos said, bewilderment painted across his face, “you two _talk_?”

“Sometimes,” Hermes said. He gave Charon a smile.

“Huh. I keep learning new things about this place,” Hypnos said. He turned to Charon, “you wanna smoke? Please don’t be a Thanatos. It’s my birthday.”

“ _Shouldn’t be letting you get high in my gym_ ,” Charon signed. He looked at Hermes, who tentatively held the joint out. Their fingers touched for a fraction of a second as Charon took it from him. Hermes, out of the corner of his eye, admired the gold rings on his fingers.

He couldn’t look away as Charon smoked, watching calm spread across his face as he inhaled and then gently let the smoke drift out of his mouth. He looked peaceful in a way that was borderline majestic. Hermes looked down before he was caught staring.

“ _Where is_ ”—Hermes gathered that the next sign was ‘Thanatos’—“ _anyway_?” Charon signed, leaning back into his seat.

“He’s inside with Meg. They’re too professional, or something. What’s the point of having a birthday party if you’re not even going to celebrate?”

“ _Does smoking weed really count as celebrating for you? I can’t remember the last time you weren’t high_.”

“Don’t make me regret inviting you!” Hypnos said with mock indignance.

“ _I own this entire building._ ”

Hermes watched with relaxed pleasure. Seeing the banter between siblings reminded him of the better sides of his own family, and it was especially pleasing to see the usually impassive Charon acting so unguarded.

“ _How do you sign your name?_ ” Charon was looking at him now. It was probably the first time he’d ever asked Hermes a sincere question.

Hermes signed his name.

“ _Hermes_ ,” Charon signed back, “ _Got it._ ”

“Wow, my brother has a friend!” Hypnos said, earning him a flick on the side of the head from Charon. “Ow, what was that for? You’d really hurt me on my birthday?”

“ _If you deserve it_.”

Hermes couldn’t help but chuckle. They sat around talking and smoking for a while longer. More specifically, Hermes sat around watching Hypnos and Charon talk for a while longer.

“ _You’re quiet_ ,” Charon signed. “ _Not like you_.”

“See, boss,” Hermes said. “I’m just thinking about the fact that I work here, kind of, in this gym. And you own this gym and you are a chain smoker—or chain vaper, whatever. And your brother here—” he pointed to Hypnos, “—who also works at this gym, he has just decided to get high here on his birthday. And here we all are. Isn’t that kind of an unusual setup? Not complaining!”

“ _Better. That’s more like it_ ,” Charon signed, frustratingly cryptic as ever.

“Didn’t know you missed it when I didn’t inundate you with chatter, boss. I’ll talk more at you in future,” Hermes said dreamily, leaning his head in his hands.

“ _I never said that_.” After this, Charon rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. Hermes caught sight of his forearms which were, frankly, in his view, ridiculously toned. It was hard not to stare.

—

The next morning, Hermes caught up with Dusa again.

“Last night was a lot of fun, wasn’t it? Had a good time. Think the twins enjoyed it too,” Hermes said, doing lunges in front of the reception desk.

“Yes, it was great! I’m glad you came,” Dusa said cheerfully.

Hermes smiled. Dusa’s enthusiasm was contagious.

“And say,” she added, “you and Charon seemed pretty friendly. That’s funny, you know? I’ve never seen him get along with someone like that.”

“Yeah, well,” Hermes said, “it turns out that if you pester him for about a month, he’ll warm up to you in the end. Seems like a nice guy though. Actually,” he debated not asking his next question, but his mouth had got ahead of him before he had the time to stop himself, “he’s, um, pretty fit, it looks like. I’ve never seen him work out here, so I guess I was a little surprised to see that. You happen to know anything about that?”

“Oh, sure I do. He rows every morning before work. There’s a boathouse down near Asphodel Park. I think that’s where he goes. He’s probably got pretty amazing upper body strength, right?”

“Right,” Hermes said, but his mind was already elsewhere.

—

This was totally normal. A completely normal response to the new information he had received. Hermes definitely just liked varying his running route, and the mention of Asphodel Park had given him the idea to run through there one morning. Absolutely just for variety.

Okay, who was he kidding? He wanted to see Charon. But it _was_ true that he wanted to spice up his own routine. At least he could give himself that plausible deniability.

There was absolutely no plausible deniability for the way he stood still as a statue on a footbridge near the boathouse, lingering with bated breath as he waited to see whether his kind-of boss would emerge.

He was rewarded eventually by the sight of Charon rowing alone, wearing a black singlet that left his arms and shoulders in gloriously full view. Upper-body strength was one way of putting it. Absolute perfection was another.

Hermes cursed himself as he peeled his eyes away and resumed his run, unable to get the image of Charon’s strong arms out of his mind. This was going to be an issue.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermes tries to distract himself from his own romantic woes by playing matchmaker with his sister and best friend, instead.

-pls reply asap. have big big problem  
-🥺🥺🥺

After work, Hermes lay back on his bed, twirling a pen about with one hand and texting Eurydice with the other. For all he knew, she was working tonight and wouldn’t be able to reply. However, he was surprised when she got back to him in a mere ten minutes. That was pretty good for a normal, non-Hermes person.

-What is it this time?  
-Or should I say *who* is it this time?

Of course she knew what kind of situation this was about. Hermes did not whip out those pleading faces for just anything.

-ok SO  
-don’t laugh at me!  
-but working with this guy and he is just  
-🥵🥵🥵  
-full gourmet snack  
-like some kind of caviar bites or something  
-do those exist?  
-getting hungry now just thinking about it...

-A guy you work with? Like a client?

-um not exactly  
-he’s… kind of my boss  
-kind of! but not really  
-i mean  
-i sort of work at his gym  
-that he owns  
-but he’s not really my boss if you get me

-Hermes…

-i said don’t laugh! you’d better not be laughing!!

-I’m not laughing 😉

-finding it hard to believe you there…

-Is he into men? Is he single?

-i genuinely don't know  
-i know that he talks to me 🙂 even tho he doesn’t really talk to anyone else  
-and i know he is JACKED  
-lol like…  
-okay so this is going to sound bad  
-i found out that he rows right  
-so i might have done some light stalking and gone for a run in asphodel park  
-cos i knew he’d be rowing there  
-and his arms 🥵🥵🥵

-Please don’t text me this stuff. It could be used in a future legal case against you  
-What do you think your chances are like with him?

-i have no idea lol  
-his brother called me his ‘friend’ recently  
-and ‘friend’ is only three letters off ‘boyfriend’ right…

-Um… I guess that’s one way of looking at it  
-Lol you are such a simp

-am not!!  
-eurydice i did not text you so you could bully me!!!!  
-i need your advice and wisdom  
-you are like 85% of my impulse control  
-need your guidance

-I can see you need it   
-Considering that without my intervention you are literally stalking innocent men…  
-Have you thought of just asking him out?

-um… no?  
-why would i do something like that lol  
-not the hermes way

-And how’s the ‘Hermes way’ working out for you? 😛  
-What is the Hermes way anyway? Pestering guys until they give in and date you to shut you up?

-ok wow i hate you  
-anyway! enough about me… how is work?

-Good thanks!  
-Made a really good souffle today

Eurydice sent a picture of a soft, fluffy-looking souffle which was dusted with icing sugar.

-ooooh  
-when are you cooking for me :)

-Soon!  
-Come over on Friday

-it’s a date  
-speaking of dates  
-how is *your* love life going???

-Cricket noises  
-Tumbleweed  
-Sheer, deafening silence

-😔  
-things not work out with that girl from hinge?

-Nope. I wore this long sleeve dress on our first date  
-And then she was like  
-“Oh I’m glad you don’t have any tattoos cos I think they’re really ugly”  
-So that was that

-lol weird  
-and wrong!!! your sleeves are so pretty  
-but also did she not even look at your pictures before meeting up?

-Apparently not  
-So that’s me done with dating apps

-😭😭😭  
-i feel you  
-oh btw  
-met up with artemis recently  
-she was asking about you  
-mind if i take her along for dinner on fri?

-Oh hope she’s doing well  
-And yes bring her! The more the merrier 💓  
-But why do I get the sense you’re up to something?

-slander!!!  
-i am never up to anything  
-law-abiding citizen. good boy 😇

-May I remind you that you started this conversation telling me you followed some poor man to the park?

Hermes put down his phone for a moment, grinning from ear to ear. If he couldn’t sort out his own romantic woes, he at least had a few ideas about how to play matchmaker to his best friend and his sister.

\--

“ _I think I saw you the other day_ ,” Charon signed to Hermes as soon as he walked out onto the balcony. This was a surprise to the latter, who initiated nearly all of their conversations.

“I’m sure you did, boss! I work here most days now,” Hermes said as he sauntered over to his new spot beside Charon at the railings.

“ _Not here_ ,” Charon signed, “ _in the park. You were running. Never saw you there before_.”

Hermes felt his face heat up and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Ah, yes. Um, I like to spice things up sometimes. Was trying out a new route, you see, boss. Pretty straightforward, you know? Got to… got to keep up my own training. And, you know, going to different parks and stuff keeps it… interesting.”

Charon gave him a small, teasing smile.

“ _It was nice to see you_ ,” he signed, “ _sorry I didn’t say hello. I was rowing. Saw you from my boat_.”

Oh. So he didn’t, strictly speaking, realize that Hermes was watching him. That was good. He could work with that.

“Oh, I see! That’s nice. Good to see you keeping active, boss. But—what’s a sportsman doing smoking like a chimney?” Hermes leaned slightly into Charon’s personal space, gesturing towards his Juul.

“ _Wouldn’t you like to know?_ ” Charon signed, and slipped his hand into his pocket.

He was perfectly relaxed, by all appearances. This was fantastic news. Hermes just had to ensure he did not give the game away.

\--

Friday rolled around and Hermes and his sister were at the door to Eurydice’s apartment complex. It hadn’t been so hard to convince Artemis to come. Where Eurydice was concerned, she was easily persuaded. She now stood waiting in the evening air, brow furrowed with nerves, as Hermes dialled in a code and rang the doorbell.

“Hello?” Eurydice’s voice came over the intercom.

“Guess who!” Hermes said in response, sing-song and cheerful. The door buzzed to let them through.

In the elevator up, Artemis was quiet.

“Aw, come on, Artemis! It’ll all be good. No need to be so shy.”

She drew a deep breath. “I have to ask again why I agreed to this.”

“Hm, among other things which we won’t go into right now, you wanted to spend some time with your favorite little brother?”

“It is _very_ bold of you to assume that you are my favorite.” The elevator door opened, and Eurydice was already out in the hallway, ready to greet them.

She was wearing an elegant yellow sundress, half covered with an acorn-print apron, and had her hair in a bun. As she spotted the pair, she ran over and gave Hermes a hug.

“So good to see you,” she said, “and you’re only fifteen minutes early!”

“Yeah, well, Artemis wouldn’t let me come any earlier,” he said, pointing towards his sister, who was all but hiding behind a potted plant beside the elevator. Eurydice walked over to her and tentatively gave her a gentle hug, and Hermes could have sworn he saw Artemis’s soul leave her body.

“Really nice to see you, Artemis. How are you doing these days?” Eurydice was smiling. Artemis looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I’m… I’m good! Been, um, keeping busy. I’m glad I could make it tonight.”

“I’m glad you could make it too, hon,” Eurydice said and spun around, leading the pair into her apartment.

As was to be expected, the dinner Eurydice had prepared was delicious. Hermes had to work incredibly hard to slow himself down and not simply devour her homemade truffle ravioli.

“You know, Eurydice, I thought you were a good cook back in college,” Hermes said, “but now you’re _insane_. You ever thought of opening your own restaurant?”

Eurydice chuckled. “Not any time soon. I’m enjoying working with other chefs. I feel like I still have a lot to learn from them.”

“He’s always doing this,” Artemis said, which was a positive development, considering that she’d been quiet as a mouse until this point, “You know, every time he sees me, he tells me I should set up an archery school. And he presents it as though it’s a new idea each time.”

“Well, she should, shouldn’t she? I’m trustworthy on these things, you know. When have I ever had a bad idea?” Hermes didn’t mind poking the bear—he was giving the two common ground to bond over. In any case, he was proud of this scheme. It reminded him of something his mischievous little nephew, Eros, would come up with.

“When have you ever had a bad idea?” Eurydice repeated, “When have you not?”

“Oh, god. I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it,” Artemis said, “I’m sure you’ve _seen_ things, Eurydice.”

“Just the other day he was telling me”—oh no—“about some of his latest and most ridiculous ideas.”

This was backfiring. Hermes was supposed to be wingmanning, not setting himself up for mockery. He knew what was coming next.

“Please, Eurydice, you have to tell me,” Artemis said, shyness forgotten, leaning forward keenly.

“If you tell her, I will never ever talk to you again,” Hermes said. It was the emptiest threat he’d made in his life.

“You know Hermes has it bad for his boss?” Eurydice said with a wry smile, gathering empty bowls and standing up from the table.

“He’s not my boss, firstly, and secondly, wow, thanks for the new trust issues. Didn’t have enough of those already.”

“Anyway,” Eurydice continued, “he’s down _so_ bad that he’s been following the guy around like some sort of sad puppy. He’s even been following him to the park.”

Artemis burst out laughing.

“It was one time! _One time!_ And, anyway, he told me afterwards that he spotted me and it was ‘nice to see me’. His words!” He pouted in mock indignance.

“Tell us more about him,” Eurydice said.

“No.”

“Go on.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Hermes said, pointedly ignoring his sister. “He’s very tall and he dresses like a movie star and we chat pretty much every day and it is frankly becoming the highlight of my working life. And I love my job. So that is saying a lot.”

“What’s his name?” Artemis chimed in.

“Charon,” Hermes said, folding his arms and still avoiding her gaze.

“What?” Eurydice asked, “His name is Karen?”

“ _Charon_ ,” Hermes pronounced carefully, “He is a very nice man. Don’t call him Karen.”

The battle was lost. Eurydice and Artemis kept teasing him for the rest of the evening.

\--

Hermes and Artemis left together and walked part of the way home.

“That was nice,” Artemis said, “I’m glad I came.”

“It was! And it was _especially_ nice to see you and Eurydice get along so well.” Hermes hoped that his sister could see him winking in the dark.

“Oh, come on. You’re so embarrassing.” Artemis ducked her head slightly.

“I genuinely believe you two would make a lovely couple. It’s nice to see you so relaxed around her.”

“Anyway, you’re one to talk about all of this. What’s all this about this Charon character?”

“It’s nothing, really. I’m getting ahead of myself by even talking about it. There’s no indication that he feels the same way about me.” Hermes felt himself wither in dejection as he said the words.

“Why wouldn’t he, though? For someone who’s always pushing me to have confidence with these things, you should be a bit easier on yourself, you know,” Artemis said, almost offhandedly.

“Thank you, Artemis,” he said, and then changed the topic, talking about various inconsequential things and asking about his siblings and extended family until it came time for them to part.

When Hermes got home, his phone lit up with a text from Eurydice.

-You’re trying to set us up, aren’t you?

-that obvious?

-Just a little  
-Sort of weird to set someone up with your sister  
-But, on reflection, I’m not complaining

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/prettiestsailor) if you like!


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